The Good, The Bad, and their Assistant

I feel so self-conscious anyway. There are three nurses at the fertility factory, I’ll call them Glenda the Good Nurse, Glenda the Bad Nurse, and Glenda the Blood Nurse. Glenda the blood nurse is my favorite. She has done IVF herself, she has a life and you can tell that she can’t wait to finish her job at the end of the day and get the hell out of there. Yet, she is sincere when she talks to me and she always allows me to turn my head and not look when she draws the blood. She even admitted that it’s easier to give shots than it is to receive them. Now, that is humble! Glenda the Good Nurse is not a nice person. She is competent but hates me. I think she hates me because one day when Glenda the Blood Nurse was out, she had to draw my blood instead. I told her that I hoped she was going to be as good as Glenda the Blood Nurse and she waited until the draw was over and then barked, “ I taught her everything she knows.” I tried flattery, as in, “I can see that. You are good. Thanks so much.” But her response was, “If you have to do an injection cycle, you are going to be a mess.” So, she hates me. Yesterday, during the dildo cam for cycle day #2, she came in while the doctor was there and Glenda the Bad Nurse was already with me in the room. This is NY, so we’re talking about a pretty tight space. I mean, three is a crowd, four is poker game. She didn’t even say hello. I said hello to her trying to be the adult, but she ignored me. Now Glenda the Bad Nurse I am pretty sure is a Nurse in Training or an Assistant Nurse. At least she acts that way. She is always so nervous and her instructions are so vague and unclear. When I try to get clarification she says, “like I told you,” or “as I’ve already said,” and it’s pretty obvious that she doesn’t want to admit to mistake making. Once, during a dildo cam, the doctor asked her a question that she must not have known exactly and she started stammering and freaking out until he finally said, “It’s ok, calm down, it’s not that important,” and then he checked the chart himself. High Strung. Well, she’s the one who gave me my “tutoring session,” yesterday and she did a lousy job. I could tell she was trying but that she just didn’t know what it was like to be a person who is not used to needles or vials or anything remotely medical. She never mentioned air bubbles and we didn’t even do a test run where I inject myself under her supervision, that certainly would have given me some confidence. It’s called modeling for fuck sake. Any half assed teacher knows that. Maybe I should teach them how to teach. Maybe they could pay me