Warning: The Drugs Make Me Dumber

After seeing Miss Sunshine with Wil, I went to pee. There was...an egg in my underwear. I swear. I know. I closed my eyes to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. I took deep breaths. I blinked. There is just no other way to describe what I saw. I'll admit it. I touched it. I picked it up. I smelled it for christ's sake. It was very, very small, but it was egg-shaped. Dome-like. Texture of egg--not creamy, eggy. This is of course, impossible. I know that. I understand what microscopic means. I do. I'm not a fucking idiot. But apparently, I am. I am a fucking idiot because my thought was:
"my eggs fell out." and
"it's over because my eggs fell out."
I even started to call the emergency number but then I felt like such an asshole that I told the operator I'd just hold off until the morning.
I went and looked at photography and tried to think about something else for ten fucking minutes. What if this is all for nothing?