interminable time

fire boobs have settled into just aches. This of course makes me sure that I am not pregnant. I can't sleep. I woke up at 4. I have to make it through one more day and one more night. I thought I was doing pretty well. I've certainly kept busy. But here I am, wide awake, making oatmeal, burning cds for the play that I'm working on in school, sending emails, listening to NPR and wondering how I will cope with a negative result. I'm trying to not blame myself for being too active or too busy or not getting enough sleep but it's so easy to want to blame myself because at least that gives me a false sense of control.