Crash

I saw the scariest car crash today and it was right on the corner of my block. It's hard to determine the scariest part. I think it was the sound. Two enormous SUV's, one rounding a corner too fast, hit the bumper of the other forcing the driver off the road, onto the sidewalk, into a tree, through the steel fence and finally into the brick of a brownstone. The whole event took about ten seconds but that odd neurology that occurs during traumatic moments made time slow to a crawl. No, weirder than that. It was more of a suspension of time. We were looking at shoes and books at a stoop sale and then we were waiting to see if the driver would come out from the smashed vehicle (he did not) and somewhere in the middle was this awful crashing sound, the collapsing of rubber and metal and glass.

It's easy to think that sidewalks are safe. That's the place for pedestrians. But the random chaos that is actually in control reminded me that a sidewalk is no place for a safety dance.

Tell people that you love them. In case you never see them again. Your last words should be ones you can live with. Mind you, I said this all to Andrew and felt his internal eye roll. I guess I'm annoying. But I've lost my mother, my grandmother, and my grandfather and I know how permanent death is. The older I get, the more I cling to the memories I have because they are all I have. Perhaps that is why I feel so sad when my friends talk of moving away from New York. Our lives are already so vastly separate. The years will go by quickly now. I'd like us to not take one another for granted.

I worry that we rely too much on e-mail and telephones. What if we all move to different parts of the galaxy and power becomes too costly? Now there's a random worry for ya. But these are apocalyptic times even for a non-believer.

Better go play with my jelly roll now...I don't think sit-ups will even help.