Last night, my husband saved me from myself. I gathered up the courage to admit out loud that I was bored and he said then let's go out. The weather was horrible. But we put on our scarves and hats and witnery coats, grabbed our umbrellas and went for a very long walk. We walked over the Manhattan Bridge into Chinatown and there we stopped for a thirty minute massage. Well, I got a foot rub and he got a massage. We went to this slightly seedy, culturally confused pay by the minute sort of place of which there are hundreds in Chinatown. These folks were in the process of installing a new computer and a karoke system. I got the feeling that they couldn't wait to get rid of us so that they could get down to some impressive singing. They had five mics! The woman who rubbed my feet spoke very little English but had a kind face and seemed happy to help push the accupressure points I indicated to attempt to induce labor. Meanwhile, I could hear the slapping and taps on Andrew's back in a nearby room. Then, we walked over the Brooklyn Bridge although the sleet had really picked up and cars soaked us as they drove by. I laughed into the wind. I hadn't felt that alive in months. It was physically challenging and felt sort of crazy. There were so few people on either bridges and the views of the Manhattan skylines were so unique because of the mist and the sleet. When we got back into Brooklyn, we stopped again at a small plates joint in Brooklyn Heights where Andrew ordered little beef burgers and I ate all of his fries. We each had a glass of wine, he had a Chianti and I forgot what I had. When we left, I went nearby to have some ice cream as we still had a mile to trudge and at that point I was in serious need of some inspiration. It was sort of a perfect date for a nine month + lady and her hubby. I needed that anyway. Tonight, I've sent him out to a pub to be with his male friends which I think is something he is in serious need of given how surrounded by vaginas the poor guy is. I entertained myself today but with less moodiness. I took myself to see the new Woody Allen movie, "Cassandra's Dream," which was a TOTAL stinker. I HATED it. It made me wish that Woody Allen would retire and go live in exhile or something as the more he continues to make films, the worse his legacy will be. He has lost it completely. It is so sad.
In baby land news, there is no news. I am not sure what the best plan is marching forth. Is castor oil a waste of time? Should I be less afraid of the Petocin than I am? Is it ok that I will not see my doctor if nothing happens naturally until the 24th now? I am just hoping that labor will just begin magically as it seems it does for everyone eventually. It's hard for me to not believe that somehow this is my fault, that my fear is causing her not to come, or that it's because of some anxiety or that there is something wrong and I just don't know it yet. I guess, everyone must go through this. It certainly isn't pleasant. Meanwhile, the phone calls keep coming. My stepmother and my mother-in-law are in some sort of super odd competition. It seems to be about which of them is more able to control themselves. It manifests itself as follows:
stepmother calls: Your mother-in-law is SO excited about the baby. She emails me so many times a day. I bet she'll be on the next plane.
mother in law calls: Your stepmother is So excited about the baby. She emails me so many times a day. I bet she will move in!
It is a truly bizarre competition and the winner is my dad because he is mostly leaving me alone. Honestly, they both need to grow up and realize that right now the best thing is to sit tight. When we have news, we will share it. Until then, we are trying to maintain at least a facade of normalcy, even if perhaps for me it is more of a facade than an actuality. I think for Andrew things are pretty much status quo, except maybe that I am around more. It's WEIRD and kind of hard not being at work. I feel like a drifter. I am excited to have the baby so that I will be busy again. I am not so great with too much time on my hands. At least not so far. I think I could be better if I wasn't so enormous and didn't have such extreme energy lags. I could do more.